puppies get carsick: episode 1

So I'm a genius, that's to fool proof the agenda of the unnerving neverstopping mind.

Next topic: sincerity

Next topic: decency

Next topic: how to find the multiple levels of depth in one shallow glass-like thing, or person

Next topic: finding oneself bored in a maze of long fringes

Next topic: why I find the old-school comforts so valueable and terrific. Fucking dictionaries are a well of free wisening wisdom. They define everything and everyone. They assigne words and meanings to things, and over time we forget to revisit this true meaning. When I was in high school I had this philosophy teacher, and we all used to think she was a little bit insane. Well, she was. But in any case, yes, she used to make us circle words in our Socrates biography photocopied texts, words we didn't know, and we would spend most of the class breaking down words and finding out whether they came from Latin or Greek or what. And why certain words have the same roots and why we assign these labels to things and what we're really trying to get at when we say them. And I, being the nerdy kid that I was, used to find all this mildly amusing, while the rest of the class snored. To be honest, I didn't fully get her until this year, when I started (very weird) reading the dictionary and looking up random words. Getting to the bottom of definition.

She used to also rave about The Outsider, a book by Albert Camus which she thought defined "the nausea of being a human being." Back then I was lazy and had too much chemistry homework to do so I never got  around to it. I was curious though and wondered what the hell she meant by the nausea of being a human being. She always talked about the nausea of being a human being and I used to imagine this central character just roaming around the beach feeling really really sick like he was about to vomit - the extent of his non-fitting in society. I think I now know what she meant by it though. She used to describe the book as though it was almost like a frightening truth to read it. Like it would shock you and you could never be the same again. I have begged and begged my friend Josh and I now currently stand reading this much coveted... thing. I haven't finished it yet, but I can see how fitting it is to regard this book as a turning point in thought.

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